Lots of stuff going on right now and I'm having trouble figuring out what to do. All this shit in my head is putting me in some sort of paralyzed state.
I'm just going to write out a list and some notes, which hopefully will help me sort through some of this stuff.
Job/Employment
- Last day at the current job is 10/27
- Benefits go through the end of November
- Still don't know if I can elect to pay for the benefits package to keep that going beyond November or if I would want to do that anyway
- Need to figure out if I am eligible for the extra $1K for being at 6 months
- Need to update resume and get it to Tom for Expedia, Colin for Slalom, Marc for ProjectLine
- Need to get updated resume on Monster/Linked In
- Major priority should be finding a permanent spot somewhere and getting off the contractor carousel
Housing
- May need to vacate end of October but strong possibility we will be able to stay in November at $800 each
- If not, I may need to live at home for a few weeks
- End of November is a much better time to vacate - I can put my stuff in storage and live at home for December
- If we vacate end of October, the preferred way to go is to find a two bedroom with Nick, in which case I will probably want to stay there at least 6 months when what I really want is my own 1BR apartment
Self-Improvement - Three major areas happening right now - Therapy, Pickup, and CrossFit/Diet
Therapy
- Just started therapy with a diagnosis of dysthymia
- Benefits will pay for therapy through the end of November - better than nothing
- Presumably I will have homework starting next week
Pickup/Game
- With all this other stuff going on, I shouldn't expect too much of myself - just try and talk to people and be nice - maybe try more day game
- Try to add more energy and passion to my interactions
- Need to really dig and figure out what my themes should be
- I need to make an effort to have some fun - seeing more movies is a good idea, especially on Friday and Saturday - maybe take some walks in Discovery Park
- Need to write out my beliefs
- Need to decide if I'm going to take an RSD bootcamp - may not be a good idea until I can get some tools out of therapy to try and make myself happier
- Need to watch video on Tapping and try to learn this technique
- Need to go to some of these NLP meetups and see what that stuff is about
- Need to finish Foundations and put notes into Word - maybe watch it again
- Need to investigate 60 method
- Need to figure out if 12 Months To Mastery is a good way to go - expensive but doable if I'm employed
CrossFit/Diet
- Continue CrossFit 3-4 days each week
- Focus on diet - get off sugar as much as I can - this should be the focus rather than specific weight targets
- Don't worry so much about hitting the weekends
- Don't worry so much about hitting strength targets
Other Stuff
- Reading - find a really good book and read 30 minutes each day - not on the computer
- TV - figure out which shows I really like and keep up with those
- Snowboarding - don't think about this until job/housing issues are figured out - this is important though because I need more fun stuff to look forward to
Okay, now that I have all this shit written out, I can see why I'm having some trouble getting anything done. Next step is to digest this and start coming up with priorities and a plan.
I've signed up on several national forums in the last week or so looking for information on Sinn's 12 Months To Mastery course. The lack of information out there on bootcamps is amazing. It seems likely that most of these companies are putting pressure on their students not to write reviews. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if they're requiring guys to sign NDAs.
Stuff Going On Right Now:
- Need to figure out my living situation
- Mike moving out
- Nick seems inclined to move his stuff to his friend's house for the holidays to save rent
- Researching Training Options
- Job Uncertainty - need to get resume polished up
- Don't fall off the CrossFit wagon
- Would like to buy a new car soon
- Starting therapy on Tuesday
Self-Improvement Outline
- Start Cognitive/Behavioral Therapy
- Start Toastmasters
- Lose 15 pounds by the end of the year
- Take an RSD bootcamp in November or December
- Possibly: sign up for 12 Months To Mastery
- Write out goals and beliefs
- Start talking to more people every day
- Figure out living situation
I'm having trouble focusing on how to proceed with learning Game. In general, I want to start learning sequentially, focusing on one skill at a time. For now, I believe a skills-based approach is the best way to go rather than an inner game focused path. However, I am still considering going with an RSD bootcamp in November, probably with Jeffy. I am willing to do this because instructors like Jeffy and Tyler have been teaching guys for years now, and despite the RSD emphasis on inner game, I'm sure these guys will provide feedback on technical issues such as body language, tonality, and conversational skills.
I am also actively researching Sinn's 12 Months to Mastery course. The cost of this course is $6,000, which is significant, which is why I need to do more research.
From what I understand, 12MM consists of either 3 bootcamps, or 2 bootcamps and a superconference. Not sure what's so super about it, but it seems like every company these days is trying to put on their own "superconference." The big ones, of course, are Lovesystems and RSD. SOA badly wants to be a big player.
One possibility here is that I could do the Jeffy bootcamp in November and then start 12MM whenever it kicks off again - I'm guessing January.
I'm getting desperate, that's for sure. I can't continue on this path. It doesn't work for me and won't make me happy, and I need to start being happy. Oddly enough, I think the last time I was truly happy was that day in Leavenworth with Nicki and the others. Nicki would make a great girlfriend I think; she's very close to what I want. But, anyway, the point here is that I need more happy moments. I don't need every day to be awesome, but I do need MORE awesome days.
A couple of other thoughts:
- Join a Toastmasters club. Getting up in front of people every week should massively increase my confidence
- Talk to Chris and Jack about taking on some biz dev responsibilities.
I just want to get this down.
- Tonight I drank too much and now I don't feel well.
- The outcome of this is that I will lose probably half a day tomorrow.
- Drinking too much impacted my ability to learn and absorb what was happening in the social environment.
- I approached, but I did not approach enough. I allowed myself to get too comfortable "hangin' with the boys."
- I really need to do day game.
- I really need to get some proper training/instruction.
- I allowed 2 girls to really fuck up my night. Why would I do that? Why am I not strong enough and dominant enough to push through that?
- I made 2 reasonably successful approaches
It seems to me that I lack skill at approaching.
For some time now, I've wondered at the source of my reluctance to approach. Unlike many others, I don't ordinarily suffer crippling bouts of Approach Anxiety. I don't get all sweaty, no butterflies in the stomach - none of that. In fact, when I do approach, I'm usually quite calm and collected.
But still, I frequently fail to approach, even in situations where it's reasonably obvious that I should.
So, this last weekend, I was out with a couple of guys - not really winging per se, but we were all at the bar together. This time, I forced myself to open sets, by any means possible. We went to a few different places and I opened 7-8 sets total for the night. None of these sets really hooked and towards the end of the night, I realized exactly what the problem was: I'm just not very good at approaching. Yes, I CAN approach, but 9 times out of 10, when I do so, I make absolutely no impact. I'm not announcing my presence to the set. I'm just some guy.
And this is why, I think, that I don't approach as much as I should. I basically already know, even before I do it, what the likely outcome will be. So why do it?
My task now is very simple: get good at approaching. I need to stop worrying about all the other aspects of game and concentrate on this one simple skill.
Last night was a bit of a bust. Apparently, there was a competing event called the Warmack Happy Hour that always draws hundreds of people, so basically hardly anyone showed up at our event.
I did make small talk for a bit with this tattooed girl at the counter. There was some attraction but then it kind of petered off into nothing. Big mistake was getting into interview questions. I need to figure out how to DRIVE the conversation more in the direction of sexy/fun.
Some ideas:
- Could have commented on her Tats
- Could have commented on her large tits (they were nice!)
- Try to throw in the word "Sexy" next time
- Talked about the usual Red Door Friday and Saturday crowd - talked about what a meat market it is - lots of college kids and early 20's looking to hook up
- A compliment may have worked i.e. "sexy"
- Need some stories
So, I have 29 sets left to open this weekend. I can open them any way that works. Need to remember that I am there to get the skill, not the girl.
I will be going out three nights this week - Thursday (tonight), Friday, and Saturday.
Tonight will be a cocktail/networking event with this group I am part of, but haven't done anything with in roughly a year. The goal will be to mingle casually with as many people as I can, keep control of my body language, and throw out qualification pings to as many women as possible. The social touching level of kino escalation is appropriate.
For all three nights, the goal will be to engage at least 10 sets.
Openers all three nights should be simple:
Hi
You know, I was totally going to wear that dress
Are you guys big soccer/football/baseball fans?
Qualification Pings:
I like feminine women
I like women with a sense of style
not looking for a buddy to drink beer with
Intelligence
Positive Outlook/Upbeat/sense of humor
Threads:
Sports
CrossFit
Books
Movies - mention Spartacus
travel - want to go to Costa Rica, Dominican
Things to remember:
Lean Back
Talk Loud
Don't show too much interest
Lock in where possible
Statements not questions
Extra Credit:
Use the claw or get hugs
This blog is is basically just a place for me to make notes to myself about stuff I need to do when going out - what my process is, etc. A big key for me over the next few weeks, and possibly months, will be going out alone. I really can't count on my wings/friends, or whatever you want to call them, to help me with this. LJ, for one, is especially unreliable - disappearing for weeks at a time. Also, if I'm going to hang out with other guys, I need to find something in them that I admire, and LJ, when it comes right down to it, is a zoo, especially wrt his personal and financial life. Even though he's an approach machine, I find very little in him that is worthy of emulating. My other main wing is The Prince, and in him, I do find many worthy qualities. However, aside from his current girlfriend, his standards in women are quite low, which I really don't understand. The dude could pretty much have any woman he wanted, but he still dumpster dives on a pretty regular basis. Could this be hiding some sort of inferiority complex?
